This blog piece was written by our guest blogger- Melissa Heaton mother of Miss Rodeo America 2015 Lauren Heaton
LEARN TO TRUST YOUR DAUGHTER’S OPINION, THIS SHOULD BE HER JOURNEY!
These are some of, what I believe are, the benefits of your daughter being a State Queen:
- Learning to speak in a crowd, group or on stage, in a calm and relaxed manner.
- To be able to see other parts of their state/world.
- To learn of the pride and advantages you get when promoting something other than herself. Rodeo queens promote the sport of rodeo, their state and the western way of life, not themselves.
- To become a better rider. Up to that time, while participating in rodeos, I thought my daughter was a really good rider, until she started learning to do reining patterns, where she then learned how to “handle and maneuver” a horse.
- To be able to “think on her feet”.
- To learn that manners and how you treat people is important.
- To learn what it takes to be a role model and mentor to others and then to realize how good that feels.
- To become a strong, confident and independent person.
When they decided to become a rodeo queen, you had to help guide them through these
areas, but now you need to let them do it for themselves. Of course the biggest teacher is “learning from their mistakes”. They will make mistakes and we need to be ok with that. I believe girls should be entering rodeo queen pageants with more of a “learning” attitude than a “winning” attitude. The winning will come, but if you want your daughter to get all that she can out of this experience, she has to do it to learn It.
There are usually 2 kinds of rodeo queens, those that want their moms to help with lots and those that want their moms to help with little. No matter which, or where in between, your daughter is, this advice applies.
If your daughter wants to do most of this on her own, your life will be easier if you adjust to her desires.
If your daughter leans more towards you doing for her, your life will be easier if you adjust your part.
OK, easier said than done. It is true for most of us, it is hard not to push our thoughts and opinions on them. The “pageant mom” is a real thing and we are all guilty of some aspect of it some time or another. It is nearly impossible not to be a pageant mom without occasionally being a “pageant mom”, after all that is our daughter, our money and lots and lots of our time! We should be involved! That is what we are there for is to guide them and advise them. Difference being guide – not demand, and advise – not tell. Let this journey be one that they feel they have done themselves, with support from their family. The girls who is given a speech, given clothes and given the words to say does not gain those characteristic listed above. Those characteristics come from a girl making choices herself and having a voice in her speech and clothes. They will not always make the right choices, and will seldom make the one you would choose, but as long as they are not doing anything inappropriate, let them make them.
I’m not going to lie, it is hard, but if you have a “learning attitude” and not a “I’m not spending this much time and money for you to lose attitude”, I believe you will find that your daughter will become someone that we all will look up to and admire, because SHE WILL BE HER TRUE SELF and THAT IS WHAT MAKES A GREAT RODEO QUEEN!